!DOCTYPE html>

Mean JudgeOne of my favorite Collin County judges enjoys admonishing clients at most hearings involving children of the following: “The most important parenting decision that you make is the person you choose to have sex with.”  After that, the rest is history.

I have compiled a list of my top ten favorite phrases that family court judges and attorneys alike use in our daily life to explain the phenomenon of parenting:

  1. Shoes come in pairs.
  2. Takes two to tango.
  3. You choose her/him.
  4. Apples don’t fall far from the tree.
  5. Crazy is as crazy does.
  6. A one-night stand can last a lifetime.
  7. At some point, it was LOVE, or something close.
  8. Sex is a moment. Parenting is a lifetime.
  9. If he wasn’t that great after a few drinks, imagine parenthood.
  10. Don’t let your bad choice hurt your child’s future.

I challenge you to be prepared for this one-liners delivered in your direction from the witness box or being lectured to you by the judge post-hearing. That way, you won’t be as insulted/shocked when delivered in your general direction.  Advice for processing these comments?  Do not respond with argument or explanation as this may not end well.